Why Family Tensions Make a Care Crisis Harder – and How an LPA Can Help

Recent coverage of family tensions in the public eye has prompted many people to reflect on their own family dynamics. While some disagreements unfold in headlines, far more family fall-outs happen quietly, behind closed doors and over many years.

A sister who has become estranged or a brother who has gradually distanced himself, these are long-standing tensions that feel easier to ignore while a parent is coping independently. But when health suddenly declines, those unresolved relationships can resurface painfully, often at the exact moment urgent decisions about care, money and wellbeing need to be made.

At The Good Care Group, we see the impact of this every day, particularly at the start of the year as January is consistently our busiest month for enquiries, and it is very often relatives who are calling, worried and unsure what to do next.

This January, enquiries are up around 20% year-on-year in the opening days of the month. Friday 2nd January was our busiest day so far, with enquiry levels more than tripling compared with the same point last year. Families across the UK are reaching out urgently after extended Christmas visits shine a light on changes that may have gone unnoticed during shorter, routine check-ins.

Spending longer periods together often creates a “reality check” moment when relatives notice confusion, missed medication, weight loss, reduced mobility, or signs that someone may no longer be safe living alone. Roughly one in ten of our January enquiries arrive in the very first days of the month, highlighting just how acute this pressure point can be for families.

Many of these conversations are happening against a backdrop of strained family relationships and uncertainty about who is legally able to act.

When there is no Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) in place, these situations can quickly escalate. Without clear legal authority, families can find themselves unable to make decisions and in families where relationships are already fragile, this lack of clarity can cause lasting damage.

“As someone who works closely with families navigating these moments, and who has supported many affected by dementia, I can say with confidence that setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney early is one of the most effective ways to prevent unnecessary conflict and heartache.” – Laura Davies, Chief Operating Officer.

More than one million people are currently living with dementia in the UK, a number expected to rise to 1.4 million by 2040. With this comes a growing need for families to make complex decisions under emotional pressure, often while old disagreements or estrangements remain unresolved.

A Lasting Power of Attorney is a legal document that allows a person to appoint someone they trust to make decisions on their behalf if they lose the capacity to do so. There are two types:

• Health and Welfare LPA, covering care, medical treatment and daily routine
• Property and Financial Affairs LPA, covering finances, bills, pensions and property

Without an LPA, even close family members may be unable to access bank accounts, speak to utility providers, manage council tax or make healthcare decisions. In families where communication has already broken down, this can fuel suspicion, resentment and disputes that last long after the immediate crisis has passed.

The assumptions that often make things worse

• “We’ll come together if something happens.” – In reality, long-standing fractures often widen under pressure, particularly when decisions about care or money must be made quickly.
• “We’re family, we’ll work it out.”  – Without legal authority, even the most well-intentioned relatives can find themselves blocked from acting.
• “We’ve managed without anything formal so far.” – Once mental capacity is lost, it is too late to put an LPA in place. Families must then apply to the Court of Protection, a process that is slow, costly and emotionally draining.

Laura Davies’ advice for protecting families as well as individuals

1. Start the conversation early: LPAs can only be set up while someone has mental capacity. Having these discussions before a crisis allows decisions to be made calmly and collaboratively.
2. Register LPAs without delay: Registration with the Office of the Public Guardian can take up to 20 weeks, a delay many families underestimate until it’s too late.
3. Understand the costsEach LPA costs £82 to register, with reductions or exemptions available for those on lower incomes or means-tested benefits.
4. Put both LPAs in place: Health and Welfare LPAs become critical when care needs change, for example, when arranging live-in care or supported living.
5. Choose attorneys carefully: Appointing trusted individuals and considering more than one attorney, can help balance relationships and reduce conflict where family dynamics are complex.

Putting a Power of Attorney in place is not about anticipating the worst. It’s about recognising that families are complicated, relationships evolve, and life rarely gives warning before circumstances change.

At The Good Care Group, we see first-hand how much distress can be avoided when families take this step early. An LPA provides clarity, protects relationships, and ensures a person’s wishes remain central, even when they can no longer speak for themselves.

Putting the right legal framework in place today could prevent old fractures from becoming lifelong rifts tomorrow.